Happy New Year!

 I'm sitting here while it is snowing madly outside. I love the snow. It is such a majestic sight to me. And as I am sitting watching it come down, I started reflecting and decided to blog.

So it's a brand new year and I am facing it with my head held high! I turn 30 this year and I have decided that it is my Towanda year. And for those who don't get that reference, please watch Fried Green Tomatoes. This is the year that I stop putting myself behind everyone else. I have finally figured out that if I take time out for myself  whether it be going to the gym or getting myself groomed (i.e. waxing, salon, maybe even spa ;)  ) I am a better person for my family. The saying of "If Mama ain't Happy ain't nobody Happy" really is true. We take care of so many people in our lives that if we aren't taking care of ourselves then those people suffer.

So this year I resolve to take care of me so that I can take care of others. I love being a homemaker and taking care of my husband and kids. But I also know that at the end of the day I feel drained. So I need to create a reserve for myself. And that will include working out 6 - 7 days a week. I know that sounds like a lot but even if I just do thirty minutes of walking around my neighborhood, I've done something. My weight has always been an issue for me and this year I resolve to make it a nonissue.

I will take care of myself fiscally. Lucas and I are working towards being debt-free in 2011. To be "in shape" fiscally means that there is less stress for Lucas and I and for the kids.

I will also take care of myself spiritually. Sometimes it's hard while you are wrangling children to really listen and focus on the lessons being given and really get to the place where you want to be during services. So i will make sure that I am taking the time to study on my own. And I will participate more. Idle hands are the devils playground so I will be busy. One of the greatest things about being a Christian is that Satan can try and tempt me, but I can say NO!

And last, but not least, I will take care of myself mentally and emotionally. How can I teach my kids to protect their emotional selves unless I show them. I have a tendency to let people tell me what to do and allow certain people to walk all over me. But no more! And I am not talking about getting in peoples faces with your head bobbing and weaving and finger waving. First and foremost, I am a Christian and that is how I will act. But I am talking about setting appropriate boundaries. I can say NO. It is okay for me to do that.

It is also okay for me to flourish on my own. I tend to step back for the sake of other people and this year I will step forward and put myself first. Like I said at the beginning, if I take proper care of myself  I can take care of the ones I love.

I have already started accomplishing this goals and will keep my eye on the prize all year through. Because these "resolutions" are not just for a couple of months and then I drop them like a bad habit. These are to permanently transform myself. These are things that I truly want to improve and that is what I will be working on.

BTW, I also resolve to blog more! LOL! Maybe if I can shove my husband off the computer I can actually get more blogs going. =D

Well, this has been a pretty heavy blog so I promise more light and airy ones in the future. I hope everyone is having a blessed New Year and are keeping up with their resolutions. May God Bless you all!

Until next time,
Holly

Loves of my life!

I haven't posted in a while. This is such a busy time of year for my little family. But I wouldn't have it any other way. My little savages (as I so lovingly call them =D ) are my world! They fill my day and make me want to have ten more of them. I knew I wanted to have kids close together because I was in the middle. My two older sisters were 11 and 13 years older than me and my younger brother and sister ( twins) are nearly six years younger than me. So I never really had someone that I was real close too. I wanted that to be different for my kids. And so far they are extremely close. In fact, my daughter is toddling around right now wondering what in the world she is supposed to do while her brother is in school. And John is at his happiest when he can chase his sister around the house laughing until they both can't breathe.
Those are the happiest sounds in my house........their laughter. It doesn't matter what is going on and how bad of a mood you may be in, let one of those babies belly laugh and you will smile the rest of the day!

I always knew I wanted to be a Mom, but I had no clue to the rewards that I would receive from it. And to see my kids play with each other completely makes my heart melt. There are bad days, but you are going to have bad days with any job. These bad days come with hugs and cuddles at the end of the day. And that is better than any bonus any day!

May God Bless you all!
Holly

30 is just around the corner!

Okay so I gave myself the goal of losing my weight by the time I turned 30. And let me just tell you it's a slow process. I have lost 14 lbs, but I am no where near where I want to be. It is so hard to find what is going to work for me. And every time I turn around there is something else that comes up to derail me. I am so over it!!!!!

I am tired of the way I look. I am tired of the struggle! I just want to be healthy and happy and not constantly be worried about the scale! I want to fit into normal size clothes. Take a picture with friends and not only see my fat rolls. I want to feel sexy again. I want to put on a cute dress and stilettos and WOW my husband! Are these things that are too much to ask?

When did it get this bad? When did I lose all control? So why is getting there so hard? Way am I allowing myself to be a slave to food and laziness? I don't let anyone else control me, so why do I let these things control me? I have so many goals in my life and I can't accomplish them being this heavy. And I don't want my kids to remember me this way.

Is there a way to balance everything? Can you eat right 95% of the time and then splurge on special occasions? Or is manic dieting and exercising all the time no break?

I know this blog had a lot more questions than statements, but that is kind of where I am right now. I don't know if I need to sign up for the Biggest Loser or if I need to call everyone's friend Jenny! I just know that something needs to be done!

So I am stating a goal right now and I want everyone to hold me accountable. On my birthday, I am buying a really cute dress and really spiky heels!!! And I will post a before and after picture. And from here on, I will be posting every week about my weight loss or gain. So if anyone has any suggestions about how I can keep on task or workouts that I can do I would really appreciate it!

Love you all!
Holly

Polishing the Pulpit.

Hello all!!!!!!!
Sorry it has been a while but it has been really busy at the Stephens' house. Lucas traveled to Colorado Springs for his job and then our congregation hosted a wonderful lectureship called Polishing the Pulpit and I got to go to my very first UT football game!

First Polishing the Pulpit. This is an amazing event that comes to Sevierville every August. There are several speakers. And I can honestly say that being around that many member of the Church is truly uplifting! Going there really inspires me to increase in the knowledge of His Word and start writing. One day I would love to be a speaker myself. If any of you get a chance to come and be apart I would definitely recommend it. These events are there not just for preachers but it is there for all of us. There were lessons on homeschooling, marriage, and lessons for teens. It really is for everyone! And you get to meet so many great people! Again, I just have to say that if you ever get to go you really need to.

Now my first football game. My family is originally from Kentucky so the fact that I am a full blown Tennessee girl really drives them nuts! I can't help it! I have lived in Tennessee longer than I have lived anywhere and so therefore MY BLOOD IS ORANGE PEOPLE!!!! LOL, please don't disown me! :D Anyways, I was able to go with two of my girlfriends and we had an absolute blast! I do have to say that I am really glad that I have been working on my cardio because we were all over that campus! But i am so glad we did it because we got to see everything! I got my picture in front of the torch, the rock (by the way, Buffy I saw the picture you took and I soooo owe you! LOL!), and got to watch the VOL Walk, and the Band come down! It was perfect! Beautiful day and wonderful friends to share it with. And I totally got the traditions and got into it along with everyone else! I am hooked and can't wait to take the kids to their first ballgame!  V.......O.......L.........S    V.O.L.S Go Vols Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise that I will be blogging a lot more this week. I've got the 60 and over dinner this Saturday so I can't wait to tell you all about it! Until next time, God Bless you all and have a great Holiday week.

Love you all,
Holly

Spare the Rod Spoil the Child!

So I joined the gym that I go to because they have a daycare so that I can take the kids anytime I want to go. Well, it has now officially backfired!

John LOVES going to school two days a week. So going to the daycare area is just like going to school for him. So after my Mom and I got done, we went in to get the kids. Before we walked in we just looked in to see how they were doing and John was sitting at the table coloring a color sheet and just acting like a perfect angel! Unfortunately, Emma was cornered by another baby who was taking away her toy. More on that situation later. So my Mom and I walk in and Emma comes running, while John sticks his hand up and proceeds to tell us that he is coloring and he doesn't want to leave.

Well too bad, Bubba! So I hand Emma off to Mom and then went over to the table to put John's shoes on and then he just flipped out. I had to drag him to the couch and put his shoes on and the entire time he  screamed! SCREAMED!!!! I was mortified! He has had fits before but never like this! So I just took his hand and signed the kids out and smiled at everyone and apologized as I am walking out of the gym with everyone watching.

What I really wanted to do was put him over my knee and wear him out, but you can't do that now a days. I can't spank my kid in public because I live in fear that someone will see it and call DCS on me. And then my kids will be taken away.

I live by the bible verse of Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child. In fact, when we asked my brother-in-law (whom Lucas and I both admire tremendously) for parenting advice and his advice to us was "spank early and often". And as much as I try to talk to John to reason with him, that just doesn't work! So we spank!

So thank goodness for my mother because she held Emma so that i could take John to the car, give him a small spanking and then drive the car up to pick Emma up. Meanwhile, John is still screaming in the back of the car to now go to Nana and Poppy's house. So I said goodbye to my Mom and then promised John that once we got home he would be getting another spanking. And when we got home, John  got a good wearing out! I told him to go sit in the corner and he sat there and cried it out.

And then the sweetest thing happened. John walks up to me and says "I'm Sorry, Mom". And then gives me a hug. That is why I spank. Because he gets it then. If I just sit there and say "John, please don't do that." It's never going to land. With a spanking, it lands, and he then gets the lesson.

There is a God given place for spanking and I don't know about yours but mine has always been well padded! So if used properly, it is definitely NOT abuse!


So now Emma! Poor Emma was being cornered in the daycare area by another baby who wanted her toy. It actually kind of broke my Mom and I's heart watching that. I was really hoping that Emma would defend herself but she just gave up the toy and then had this look on her face like she wanted to do something but just didn't know what to do. 


How do you teach her to defend herself, but then at the same time not make Her the Bully? And let me just tell you, this other baby was mean!!! She had this look on her face of "I pity the FOOL that has the toy I want!!!!!"  Oh well, maybe a couple of more years with John, Emma will be able to hold her own. Until then I will always struggle with seeing my kids in those situations. Including seeing them act in a manor that I know is not their norm.

Please keep Lucas in your prayers. He is traveling this week and missed John leading singing and he's really upset about that. So please pray for him and his safe return.


Love you all,
Holly

Jesus Loves the Little Children!

Hello All,
Sorry I didn't post yesterday but I was with my family all day and by the time I settled for the evening I was exhausted.

Anyways, yesterday was the most amazing day for me. My son led Jesus Loves Me during song service yesterday. It was kind of thrown at us at the end of service so we didn't quite know how John was going to react, but he did amazing!!! It was one of my proudest moments to see my son up there with my Dad by his side and his song book open, singing his heart out! And yes, I cried like a blubbering idiot! I thought I was going to be fine because I was more worried about him making a scene and the fact that his Daddy wasn't there. And then I realized the moment.......and that's when I lost it! It was so beautiful to me to my son with his Poppy ( who is a preacher) was a moment that I was waiting for but didn't think it would happen for a while. And John had the biggest smile on his face! He was so proud!

Lucas and I feel that it is very important that our kids learn how to participate in Church Services. So we teach them to sing, to pray, to listen ( Work in Progress), and to put money in the offering. So before and after services John always likes to play "church". He gets up there and sings and prays over the communion table and acts like he's giving an invitation just like his Poppy. It's honestly is the sweetest thing I ever watch!

That kid is all boy and wears me out sometimes but I love him sooo much my heart hurts. And for a little tid bit on his sister Emma. She is learning as well. Yesterday after one of the prayers she bobbed her head and said Amen! It is just so stinking cute, I can't stand it! My kids are my world and I would do anything for them!


Until next time........I love you all,
Holly

I made it to the gym!

So today I woke up and decided to let Lucas handle the kids this morning and head to the gym! I struggle everyday with making sure that I get there and make sure I do what I need to. But it's getting easier and easier. In fact, now I am enjoying it! Today I even tried the Step Climber! That was such an accomplishment for me. Grant it, I only made it 1 minute! But hey, that's one minute more than I did yesterday! I have a lot of weight to lose so I always take it one day at a time.
Cardio is my Achilles Heel! That is why right now I am completely concentrating on it! So far I am able to do 30 minutes on the recumbent bike and 30 minutes on the treadmill. Which is why today I tried to add the Step Climber. I can't let my body get used to what I am doing. I am increasing my speed and adding new things in there to really keep me on my toes!

So after all that, I came back home to a cranky husband and cranky kids. Yes, this is my world! As frustrating as it may sound, I actually love knowing that my family really needs me to function throughout the day! Life seems to run just a little smoother with me around. And after a couple hours of exercise, I am fully ready to tackle whatever they need me to today! Whether it be fixing lunch, taking care of a boo boo, giving medicine for a runny nose, or giving my husband a hug to help him get out of his bad mood! I love them so much!  Seeing everyone excited to see me just makes my heart melt!

Now it is planning for a dinner for our 60 and over members at our congregation. And then I get to shower and grab a little bite to eat! From there I will see where the day takes me, be it laundry or maybe some more blogging! ;D

Love you all,
Holly